


patterns forming everywhere

by modernglitch



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Friendship/Love, M/M, Pining, Polyamory, Snowed In
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2019-03-28 10:29:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13902138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/modernglitch/pseuds/modernglitch
Summary: Renjun’s eyes flick between Jeno and Jaemin, their fingers still intertwined on the couch between them. He wants to move his hand, wants to slide free from the grip Jaemin has on his wrist and lace their fingers together too.





	patterns forming everywhere

**Author's Note:**

> title comes from patterns by telekinesis

The first thing Renjun hears when he closes the front door behind him is shouting. He can’t quite see into the living room from where he’s standing in the front entrance, but almost immediately he can pick out Jeno and Jaemin’s voices. He kicks off his boots, lining them up next to Jeno’s on the rack next to the front door, and takes his time peeling off the layers of outwear he has on. He pulls off his beanie and can feel the dampness of his fringe where the snow had plastered it against his forehead.

“Renjunnie!” Jeno calls from the living room and Renjun shuffles inside, tossing his worn messenger bag onto their small kitchen table.

He’s greeted with the familiar sight of Jaemin and Jeno on their small couch, sitting directly in the middle, pressed right up against each other, video game controllers in hand. “Hey,” he says, ignoring the fluttering in his chest, and watches Jeno paused the game so they can turn to look at him. 

“How was class?” Jeno asks, tossing his controller onto the coffee table in front of him and stretching slightly. Renjun ignores the way Jeno’s shirt lifts up just enough to show a sliver of his stomach.

“It was fine,” Renjun shrugs. “They let us out early, before the roads got too bad.” He gestures towards the window, where the ground outside is slowly turning into a never ending sea of white, fat snowflakes falling from the sky at an incredible pace.

“Yeah,” Jeno snorts. “Jaemin and I got caught in it earlier, on our way home from dance practice.”

“And then he practically kidnapped me and dragged me here,” Jaemin says, laughing when Jeno turns around and smacks his arm.

“Hey, what kind of friend would I be if I left you to be snowed in all by yourself,” Jeno protests.

“At least my apartment has actual food in it, not just instant noodles and energy drinks,” Jaemin teases and Jeno leans forward to flick his forehead. 

“I’m gonna change,” Renjun says, ignoring the questions bubbling in his chest, threatening to burst out. He can hear Jeno and Jaemin continuing to bicker as he closes his bedroom door. 

Jeno and Jaemin’s friendship has always been somewhat of a mystery to him. Individually they are two of the flirtiest people Renjun has ever met, and together they’re a whirlwind of flirtatious banter, lingering stares, and constant physical contact. Despite having his own apartment, Jaemin spends a good chunk of his time at Renjun and Jeno’s place instead. And it isn’t that Renjun minds, it’s just that he finds himself more and more feeling like a third wheel. He has no idea if their friendship has transformed into something more, sometimes he swears there has to be _something_ else going on between the two of them. The thought leaves a bitter taste in his mouth and a heavy pit in the bottom of his stomach, but he forces himself not to dwell on it. They’re his best friends, they would tell him if something was going on.

❄

When Renjun rejoins the two of them in the living room they’ve abandoned whatever game they were playing, the screen still paused from when Renjun had gotten home. They’re still sitting incredibly close on the couch, practically on top of each other, and seem to be having some kind of weird staring contest, communicating only through slight facial expressions. Renjun stares at them for a minute, sketchbook clutched to his chest, and debates going back to his room and hiding out there for the rest of the night. Instead he takes a deep breath and tells himself to stop being so dramatic.

Renjun clears his throat awkwardly and they both turn to look at him. Jaemin grins, large and blinding, and Renjun feels his breath catch in his throat. Jaemin pats the spot on the couch next to him and Renjun shuffles over, tucking himself into the corner. He tips his head back against the back of the couch and sighs.

“Long day?” Jaemin asks and he nods.

“Any progress on your art midterm?” Jeno asks and Renjun sighs again. “I’ll take that as a no,” Jeno snorts.

“How’s the choreography for your showcase coming?” Renjun asks, a not so subtle subject change. He appreciates that neither boys press him on it. After two hours in the art studio being forced to try to work through his lack of inspiration he’d rather do anything than think about the sketch he has due next week.

“Did Jeno tell you they gave him the center part?” Jaemin asks, a proud look on his face.

“No, he didn’t,” Renjun says, raising an eyebrow in question. He meets Jeno’s eyes and Jeno looks away, the tips of his ears turning red. “But I’m not surprised to hear that. I bet it’s going to be amazing.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Jeno tries to downplay it, but the eye smile that overtakes his face betrays him.

“I can’t wait to see it,” Renjun says earnestly, ignoring the swoop of nerves in his stomach as Jeno’s face slowly turns red.

Jaemin is glancing back and forth between the two of them, an unreadable look on his face. He’s good at that, the carefully blank expressions that leave Renjun desperate to know what he’s thinking. “Come on, let’s play another round,” he says, nudging Jeno and reaching for his controller again.

❄

After an hour of video games they’ve gotten bored and given up, with Jeno pestering Jaemin into cooking them something for dinner.

“Now I see why you were so insistent I come over after practice. The two of you would waste away without me,” Jaemin teases. The two of them disappear into the kitchen, leaving Renjun alone with his thoughts. He can hear the faint sound of them talking, of silverware scraping against a pan. The smell of something delicious, Renjun isn’t sure what, just knows it isn’t instant noodles, wafts through the apartment. It isn’t much longer before they return, plates in hand, and the three sit together on the couch and eat.

Renjun gets up to clear the dishes, the least he can do since he didn’t help with cooking, and when he returns it’s to find Jeno sprawled out on the couch, his legs draped over Jaemin’s lap. Jaemin’s got both hands wrapped around Jeno’s thigh, and they look so natural together it makes Renjun’s chest hurt. He flops back into his corner of the couch, picking up his sketchbook again and flipping to an empty page. 

The lights flicker ominously as the heavy wind rattles against the window. Jeno’s phone lights up on the coffee table, buzzing with an incoming phone call.

“Hey, mom,” Jeno answers, pushing himself off the couch. 

Renjun looks up and watches as he disappears into the small hallway leading to his bedroom, the faint sound of his voice reassuring his mom that they’ll be fine despite the bad weather. He focuses back on the sketchbook sitting in his lap, hand running on autopilot as he doodles yet another moomin. He takes inspiration from the neverending blizzard outside, the moomin on the page in the process of building a snowman.

Renjun glances over and catches Jaemin peering over his shoulder, down at his sketchbook. Jaemin’s gaze flicks up to meet Renjun’s and he grins sheepishly, a faint pink dusting his cheeks.

“Sorry,” he says, still grinning. “Just, Jeno always talks about what an amazing artist you are.”

Now it’s Renjun’s turn to blush. His fingers itch. It’s been over a month since he’s done anything more than doodle aimlessly or stare at the same blank page in his sketchbook, the endless sea of white mocking him and his inability to conjure up something, anything to put down on paper.

Jaemin nudges him, gaze flickering back down to the sketchbook sitting in his lap. “What are you working on?”

“Nothing, really,” Renjun shrugs, fingers curling around the edges of the notebook. “Just doodling, mostly.

Jaemin nods. “Jeno mentioned you were suffering artist block.”

Renjun swallows, he didn’t realize Jaemin and Jeno talked about him. Something bubbles in his stomach, fighting to claw its way up to his ribcage and settle in his chest. He fights to ignore it.

Renjun can feels Jaemin's eyes on him and tries his best to fight the blush he can feel creeping over his cheeks. Jaemin’s gaze is always so intense, like he’s peeling Renjun back layer by layer, exposing all of his secrets.

“Looks like the snow is picking up again,” Jaemin says suddenly and Renjun looks up, following his gaze out the window. The flurries are coming down faster again, large heavy snowflakes adding to the piles of snow lining the streets below them.

Renjun opens his mouth to say something, the words right on the tip of his tongue, but the sudden sound of a door closing startles him and Jeno is bounding back into the living room. Jeno flops onto the couch, carelessly flinging his legs over Jaemin’s lap. Renjun looks away, the moment gone.

“Wanna watch a movie?” Jeno stretches his leg out to nudge Renjun’s wrist with his foot, oblivious to the tension Renjun feels like he’s suffocating in.

“Fine by me,” Renjun shrugs

“Only if you stop hogging the whole couch,” Jaemin says, poking at Jeno’s ribcage and grinning when he squirms.

“Stop,” Jeno swats at Jaemin’s hand but he’s smiling. He catches Jaemin’s hand, holding it loosely in his.

“Come on, make room for Injunnie,” Jaemin says and pinches the top of Jeno’s thigh with his free hand. Jeno huffs, half displeasure and half amusement, but finally slides his legs off of Jaemin’s lap.

Jeno leans forward and grabs the remote off the coffee table, tucking himself into the opposite corner of the couch. Jaemin scoots over until there’s barely an inch between them, and motions for Renjun to do the same.

“Any requests?” Jeno asks as his flicks on the TV, an old episode of some drama Renjun has never seen playing. He vaguely recognizes the lead actor as someone Donghyuck had been obsessed with a few years back.

Jaemin responds but the words are lost to Renjun, all his can focus on is the sudden grip Jaemin has around his wrist, tugging him closer. Renjun awkwardly scoots over, filling the gap between them. Jaemin doesn’t let go of his wrist and Renjun prays he can’t feel the frantic flutter of his pulse.

“-okay with you? Injun?” Renjun blinks at the sound of his name and looks up to find Jeno looking at him expectantly. He has a soft smile on his face, a glimmer of something in his eyes Renjun can’t quite place.

“Yeah,” Renjun says, hoping they don’t notice how weak his voice sounds. Jeno nods, seeming satisfied enough, and starts whatever movie Renjun has just agreed to watch. Renjun’s eyes flick between Jeno and Jaemin, their fingers still intertwined on the couch between them. He wants to move his hand, wants to slide free from the grip Jaemin has on his wrist and lace their fingers together too. Instead he turns his attention to the TV and tries to focus.

❄

Renjun blinks his eyes open and finds nothing but darkness. He hears faint voices, whispering, but they’re close by. The room is pitch black and he’s disoriented, blinking rapidly in an attempt to get his eyes to adjust. It takes him a moment to realize the warmth bleeding into his left side is a person, the sources of where the whispering is coming from. His neck is stiff, and he slowly lifts his head, wincing slightly when the joints crack as he stretches.

“What time s’it?” he asks, voice still thick with sleep. Something curls around his shoulder and he realizes there’s an arm draped across his back.

There’s a flash of blinding brightness and Renjun squints, Jeno’s face illuminated by his phone screen. “Just after 11. We lost power like ten minutes ago.”

“Come on,” Jaemin says, voice right next to Renjun’s ear. “We should go to bed.”

Renjun groans, slowly removing himself from how he somehow wrapped himself around Jaemin in his sleep. Jeno has the flashlight on his phone turned on, illuminating half of the living room in an artificial glow. Jeno and Jaemin both stand up first, Renjun watches as they stretch and collect the blankets strewn across the floor and couch. Jaemin reaches a hand down for Renjun and Renjun takes it, gently being pulled up to his feet.

Jeno moves around the back of the couch so he can lead them through the darkness, Jaemin staying pressed to Renjun’s back as he leads them towards the hallway. Renjun wants to tell him it isn’t necessary, he knows the layout of their apartment like the back of his hand, can easily navigate it in the darkness. Instead he stifles a yawn and lets Jaemin hook his arms loosely around his waist.

Jeno is moving forward into his room, and this is the part where they’re supposed to split paths. Jaemin will likely room with Jeno, he always says he’ll take the couch when he sleeps over but Renjun knows he always ends up slinking into Jeno’s bed. Renjun will shuffle into his own bedroom, curl up under the covers and try to fall back asleep, try not to overthink what’s happening on the other side of the thin wall. But Jaemin steers them straight ahead, closing the door behind them with a soft click once they’ve both crossed the threshold of Jeno’s room.

Renjun tries to find the words to voice his confusion but the most he can manage is a slightly disgruntled grunt. Jeno turns around, flashlight carefully aimed at the floor so it doesn’t blind them. Renjun can just faintly make out the curve of Jeno’s smile, his eyes turning into little crescents.

“Heats out, so it’s probably better for us to all sleep in here, right?”

“Right, can’t risk anyone dying of hypothermia tonight,” Jaemin replies playfully, his breath puffing against Renjun’s neck, and Renjun’s thankful no one can see the goosebumps lining his skin in the dark.

Jaemin carefully guides them toward the bed, still pressed firmly against Renjun’s back. Renjun is pretty positive Jeno’s bed isn’t big enough to fit the three of them, but he remains silent. Jaemin finally pulls away from him and Renjun crawls onto the bed. Renjun feels a dip in the mattress and then Jeno is crawling up from the foot of the bed and wiggling under the sheets next to him, pressed between Renjun and the wall. Jaemin slides in on his other side, pushing him closer to Jeno so the three of them will fit.

It’s a tangle of limbs at first, everyone shuffling around to try to accommodate each other, until finally they find a position that works. Renjun’s arm is slightly being crushed under Jeno and he knows it means he’s going to wake up with a dead arm in the morning but he forces himself not to dwell on things. Not to overthink it.  
He takes a deep breath, exhaling softly through his nose, and forces himself to close his eyes.

❄

Renjun wakes up to the early morning light creeping through the blinds, a solid weight pressing down on his side. It takes him a moment to remember where he is and he blinks rapidly, eyes adjusting until he makes out Jeno’s sleeping figure next to him. Renjun is curled in a ball in the center of the bed, someone’s legs tangled together with his under the sheets. Jaemin’s arm is thrown across his waist, nose buried against the junction of his shoulder. Renjun idly wonders how he can even breathe like that.

He revels in the moment, taking in every inch of Jeno’s sleeping figure, the inky black of his eyelashes fanning against his pale skin, the little mole next to his eye. The warm weight of Jaemin pressing against his back. He doubts he’ll be able to fall back asleep now, and he’s starting to become aware of the discomfort of the position he’s curled into.

Slowly, his breath caught in his chest, he untangles himself from the two sleeping boys as gently as he can. He’s nearly free when Jaemin stirs slightly and Renjun freezes, waiting until it’s clear Jaemin isn’t going to wake up before sliding down to the foot of the bed. He stands on pins and needles, slowly allowing the circulation to return to his legs. He turns around to face the bed, the space between Jeno and Jaemin he’d previously occupied so small, but it looks glaringly vacant now. He soaks in the two sleeping figures, the way the light creeps through the blinds and leaves a soft glow.

_Beautiful_ , he thinks. His fingers itch. He creeps into the living room, picking up the discarded blankets strewn across the ground from the night before, until he finds what he’s looking for.

When Renjun returns to Jeno’s bedroom the two of them are still asleep, but the gap between them has been closed, as if they were drawn together like magnets. Their breaths soft and in sync, their faces peaceful.

Renjun opens his sketchbook and starts to draw.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/dreamjaehyun)


End file.
